Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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