You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So squirting runs in the family.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
