if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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