idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
