I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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