so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
