You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize