I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize