so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You can't special order awesome
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
