she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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