she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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