I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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