So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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