Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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