She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
