i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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