when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
