and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
