you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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