John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
