batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
try to milk me bitch
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