There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
