you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
