I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There are leaves in my underwear?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
