i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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