All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
