god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
