I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
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