She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
