She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize