Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
