I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
