If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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