They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Even my vagina gasped.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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