Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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