Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
