OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
