doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it's great music for shaving your balls
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
