do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
