If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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