is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
