He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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