on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize