You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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