I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
