I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
