My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
tell me about the fingering
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