I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
