this boner is exhausting
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
