She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
