ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
