So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
this hospital has no fireball
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
