she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
