apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
