i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
