I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
