my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
