I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
