Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
