that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
