my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
