new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
