either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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