im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
