get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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