I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
