So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Someone shit on the floor
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
