my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
