**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
