you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
