What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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